Thursday, November 08, 2007

Not sure how to feel....

After 11 hours in the hospital Sunday night/Monday morning.....I'm no longer pregnant. It was easily the scariest night of my life, as I sat in the ER bleeding. By the time they took me up to surgery (for a D&C), I was ready to do anything necessary to feel better.

I feel good now, if somewhat directionless and lost. We had never heard a heartbeat or seen an ultrasound pic, I wasn't showing yet....so in many ways, it feels like I was never pregnant in the first place. My self-preservation instincts trumped any "maternal" urges this time, I guess.

We've talked (a lot!) since everything happened, and we've come to the conclusion that we DO want to be parents someday. Obviously, we're not in a rush to try again immediately. But whether we try getting pregnant again, or we pursue adoption, or we find some other outlet for our parental desires, we are both on the same page. Kind of surprising, given that a couple months ago the whole parenthood scene was one we weren't totally comfortable exploring!

And since this IS my stitching blog, after all, I'll close this post by saying that I did do a lot of stitching this week. I took Monday and Tuesday off from work, and spent most of my time on the couch watching DVDs and stitching. I got out the Gaelic blessing for quite a while -- working over-one with variegated floss had a great calming effect on me. Oh, and I just realized, while adding my Christmas Penny Bag to the list of finishes in my sidebar, that I've finished another 10 projects! Wow! (Someone asked about the charm intended for the penny bag...it is a little double-sided "coin" that reads Merry Christmas. Cute and all, but hard to find around here.)

18 comments:

Arthemise said...

I am so sorry. You sound like you're taking it well, but I know it must be hard. *hugs*

Kerry said...

Sending hugs and good thoughts. Feeling directionless and lost sounds normal under the circumstances. Take time to grieve. It doesn't matter if you didn't see an ultrasound or hear a heartbeat, you lost a precious child and that'll take some time to recover from. Hugs.

jymisgurl said...

Lots of hugs. It sounds like you're taking it well. I'm sure it's very hard to deal with, though. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Annette said...

Lots of hugs and good thoughts for you, Erin....

Lisa said...

I am so sorry Erin. {{{hugs}}}

Needlearts Kelly said...

I am so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Kendra said...

I'm so sorry about the loss of your pregnancy. I think what you're feeling is quite normal, and don't be surprised if you go through a myriad of other emotions as well.

(((HUGS)))

Christine said...

Oh Erin, I'm so sorry for your loss.

Heidi said...

I'm so sorry for your loss Erin.

Congrats on getting another 10 projects completed! :)

Susan said...

Erin-
So sorry for your loss.

Deanne J said...

I'm so sorry Erin. We went through the same thing in our first pregnancy, at 11 weeks. It's hard to believe now but there will be a day when you can move on and try again, we did. A friend sent me a book called The Silent Sorrow that helped alot.

Beth said...

I have been stalking your blog for a bit - found it through someone's blog list, and I just wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss. I am actually in the middle of suffering through my second miscarriage, it is SO hard! (our first would have been due Saturday...).
I just want to offer a hug and let you know that people you have never heard of are thinking of you...

Sharon said...

Erin, I am sorry to hear this. Thinking of you at this time.

Carol said...

{{{HUGS}}} We already chatted by email about your sad loss, but wanted to send you more hugs!

Karen said...

I'm sorry for your loss, Erin. {{ Hugs }}

Aussie Stitcher said...

Sorry to hear of your loss, take time to grieve and be kind to yourself. {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

Michelle said...

Erin, I am so sorry. Big hugs to you and I'll be keeping you in my thoughts. I think it's great that you and hubby are able to discuss what you want in the future and are both on the same page. That is wonderful. Take care of yourself!

tkdchick said...

Erin, I haven't stopped by in a long time. I was deeply saddened for you and your husband when I read that you lost your baby.

Take care of yourselves!